An Animal in a Trap

Strong-willed, exhibit 7,183:

My Zoe. She likes to do things on her own terms. She can be so cooperative and helpful, as long as it is her idea to be so. Which it often is. And sometimes, it is not.

As with most of parenting, and maybe all of life, transitions pose particular challenges. "Transition" usually means moving from something pleasant, like playing with her ponies, to something less pleasant, like using the potty. So she is not potty-trained yet, not because she could not be, but because it does not often suit her to make that transition.

But I have outwitted her in one particular arena.

Getting out of the bathtub is not a transition she loves. It's warm in the tub, and fun. It's cold in the bathroom, and getting out involves the work of getting dressed. If I just announce, "It's time to get out of the tub," I will surely encounter some resistance which, true, can be overcome by the force of the necessity of obedience, the threat (and the carryout) of discipline, and the like. But who wants to deal with all that at 7:00 in the evening, the time when my mind and body are crashing?

So instead, this is what I say. I kid you not, it works every time. "Zoe, are you an animal in a trap?" She nods shyly. "Oh, little animal," I say, "can you get out of that trap all by yourself, or do you need help?" Suddenly, that little animal shows me the way to get out of the trap/bathtub, slowly and carefully, and into the snuggly towel and the waiting arms of her Mama. I exclaim that it is such a clever little animal I have! She reveals to me what kind of animal she is, and we are both very pleased with ourselves.

Evening Sweetness

We have lots of stressful times around here. We really do. But lately, I'm appreciating that we have lots of sweet, sweet times, too, and I feel wistful about them already, even though they are still here. If you know what I mean :)

Tonight, I raced out after dinner to mow the lawn and was just sweeping the clippings off the walk when the kids came downstairs, bathed and pajama-ed, thanks to Daddy, who graciously gives me the lawn mowing chore on gorgeous September evenings. The kiddos were ready for their bedtime snack of dry cereal or banana, so tonight they brought their little bowls and their sippy cups of milk and sat on the front step while I weeded the overgrown front bed.

We chatted about the fall weather, discussing how this cool night air makes us eager for the state fair and Halloween, our two favorite fall events. We watched planes fly overhead as they descended toward the nearby airport and reminisced about our last trip to Poppa-Choo-Choo and Grandma's-- and we eagerly anticipated our next trip. We agreed that we should plant some mums soon, and laughed that mum is short for "Chrysanthemum," which is also the name of the heroine of our current favorite story.

Sweet conversation, earnest faces and shining eyes, a gorgeous evening, clean and cozy children, a warm house to enter as the darkness fell and the last of the cereal was eaten. What a rich life I share with this little family.

A Delightful Day

It really was a delightful day today. Daddy brought Davis to preschool this morning, and Emma Kate took a long nap. Zoe and I passed the time playing "birthday," working with playdoh, chatting, and reading books, all with the screen door open so we could hear the rain falling and the cool breeze blowing-- the first cool air we've felt in a long time!

We dashed out the door just as the deluge started, outfitted in boots and raincoats, to go pick up Big Brother. Soaking wet, we arrived home again to change into "cozy pants." We had a picnic lunch on the playroom floor since we had to cancel our plans for a picnic with friends. Then it was time for naps.

At the end of naps, we made chocolate chip cookies and turned on Mary Poppins. The kids had never seen it before, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. I enjoyed sitting with them, planning our grocery list while they laughed.

And then the magic ended. The movie ended. The rain stopped. It was time for dinner and teeth brushing and pajamas. Many, many quarrels erupted. I spent the last hour and a half of the day mostly disciplining and separating kids.

But I don't want that last bit to color my impression. It really was a delightful day.

Today's Observation

Davis is loving preschool. Loving it. He goes off happily and comes home full of things to share. The hilarious song they sing at circle time about someone with a daughter named Wednesday. The way they sing the Alphabet song all sorts of ways, backwards and fast and slow. Always, who brought snack and what it is and who is VIP and who has Squirt. He looks forward to the next day.

But I'm realizing that the 30 minutes of outside time he enjoys at preschool is not enough. When he is home, he typically gets much more exercise than that, and I can tell the difference on school days. When we get home for lunch, he's antsy and ready to wrestle and burn off some of that I've-been-in-a-happy-but-structured-environment-for-the-last-three-hours. He ends up pushing Zoe and getting in trouble right away, which is not a fun way to come home, for him, or for me. I've missed him all morning and I'm excited to reconnect with my boy, not discipline him!

Therefore, we're finagling our schedule so that we are going to stay after school to picnic and play on the playground or head from school right to the park with our bikes to picnic and ride. Hopefully, that will give him a chance to burn off some of this energy and get all the exercise he needs- and now that the weather is getting cooler, it should be fun for all of us!

She's Got it All Figured Out

Over our cereal this morning (my first breakfast, her second or third)...

Zoe (out of the blue, following a conversation about what we need at the grocery store): "Someone will always love me."

Me: "Yes, Zo, Mommy and Daddy will always love you."

Z: "Yes. And God and Jesus. And my grandparents."

What else is there to know?

Big, Huge, Update

As back-to-school season is upon us and my baby turns one, I'm feeling reflective about the kiddos and how much they have changed and grown of late. So here is a giant update about each one, more information than anyone but a mama (or maybe a grandparent?) cares about...

DAVIS, at 4 1/2, just completed his first week of 4 year old preschool. He has become a confident, enthusiastic preschool-goer, marching right into class, enjoying the company of his buddies, reporting who the VIP of the day was (he got to be the VIP on Tuesday) and who got to take home Squirt, the class dolphin mascot, that day. His preschool teacher, Miss Julie, has already noted to me how kind and sophisticated he is socially, willing to share, offering reasonable solutions to sharing problems, asking nicely for things, clearing his area after snack time. He really is a dear and delightful boy.

He also began soccer last week, and he seemed to enjoy his first practice, consisting mainly of 15 kids runnning around and kicking the ball into the goals as many times as possible. They also played duck-duck-goose and chased the coach around the field-- it was hilarious and fun for the onlookers as well as the kids, who mainly enjoyed the novelty of being decked out in shin guards, tall socks, and cleats.

Davis made big strides with swimming this summer, and by the end he was swimming by himself and jumping off the diving board. At home, he still loves his Thomas trains and his cars, playing outside, coloring and painting, reading books, jumping on his friend Luke's trampoline, and playing with his sisters...most of the time. He is a big helper around the house, taking out the recycling for me and opening doors and turning on lights for his sister.

Each day Davis and I spend a "little time" (his title) together after the girls go down for naps. I really treasure that 30 minutes when I get some uninterrupted time to play with him and listen to him. He is making great progress with his speech and his fine motor skills and we are confident that he will be ready for (gulp) kindergarten next fall. We are really proud of our boy, and we enjoy him so much!

ZOE, definitely 2 1/2, is sweet, sharp, verbal, and has a strong sense of herself. She is charming, observant, and funny. She can be very stubborn, sometimes at times which are very inconvenient for us, but she can also be incredibly kind and sensitive. She loves pink and all things princess. Her current career ambition: to be a princess at the State Fair. Mind you, she's never seen a princess at the State Fair, but those are her two most appealing concepts at the moment, so why not combine them?

Here is, from Alex's blog, a bit about how she's responded to all the fall excitement: So all this celebration and hoopla over the past couple of days leaves one out: Zoe. Our little in-the-middle girl is a little too young for soccer or a pre-school class, but she's old enough to realize that she's being left out. And her birthday isn't until January. It's been a little hard to be in-the-middle Zoe the past week. But this morning after dropping Davis off at pre-school, Kelly decided to see if there was a spot open for a Monday morning Little Gym class. Little Gym basically runs exercise and dance and flexibility and coordination classes for kids that are a whole lot of fun. There was a spot, and she loved it. Kelly signed her up for the fall on the spot. "A class just for me, mom?" little Zoe squeaked excitedly. Yes, Zoe, a little class, just for you.

Yes, it was sheer delight for Zoe and I to be in that class together (while Emma Kate naps at home while Daddy works), and we are looking forward to our class on Monday already. But it's also nice to have some time at home with Zoe on Tuesdays while Emma Kate naps and Davis is at school. She paints and we chat; sometimes we go to Starbucks and she gets a chocolate milk, we read a lot and play in the sandbox.

In the past couple of weeks, I've seen Zoe take huge strides in becoming more aware of the needs of others and willing to bend her will. Just recently, a little baby friend "tried on" Zoe's new, beloved pink shoes. She looked at me with concentration and said, "Ellie has my shoes on, but they're mine, and it's OK to share." Sweet girl.

Zoe loves hymns. She sings the first verse of Amazing Grace with me, and it's awfully precious to hear her little voice. This summer, the ENT diagnosed nodules on her vocal cords, and we did attempt some speech therapy to address them, but she's way too young for it. (see previous post :) The nodules may well resolve themselves, and if not, she'll retain her raspy, squeaky voice until she's a bit older. We love our Zoe, and we are so grateful for our great girl.

and now for EMMA KATE, known here at our house as "Emma-Katie-bug." Words can't express how grateful we are for this little gift. She is generally relaxed and happy and has this fantastic sense of humor that finds many things funny...and then she rewards us with a hilarious giggle that sets us all laughing. She loves to eat, anything and everything, and she's incredibly communicative. Emma Kate chatters all day long, using both a pretty extensive list of real vocabulary words and a whole other language that only she understands but which makes her meaning very clear. She loves to be in the center of things, but she also loves to sit with a book. She's crawling, climbing the stairs (ugh), and cruising some, but not all that interested in walking just yet. She's very physical, though, loving the play area at the mall where she can climb and roll around, and she thinks it's great fun to crawl off Zoe's toddler bed. Emma Kate is a delight, a gift to our family! At her birthday celebration, she enjoyed her ladybug cupcakes, as you can see. Happy Birthday to our precious girl! (enjoy the video below-- though it's way too dark and you have to listen to me sing, you'll get a sense of why we love to have her around!)